If you want happiness and a positive mindset, one of the first steps is to decrease the ego’s influence on your life. Spiritual leaders often refer to the ego as “edging God out.” Your ego is the inner voice of your consciousness that tells you how things “should” be, which is almost always the opposite of the way things are. It’s the voice that says you need to make more money, get a bigger house, drive a better car, lose weight, look younger, gain followers, and so on. Many people focus so much on what’s missing that they forget what they have.
The Ego is Always Hungry
Ever heard the phrase that if you stop feeding the bears, they’ll stop coming to the picnic? The same is true for the ego.
Let’s use financial problems as an example. If you find yourself stressed about money, stop and start focusing on the positives in your life. Stop feeding the ego. You might think, “But you don’t know my financial situation!” Believe me, I’ve been there and do understand.
Financial situations are temporary and always changing. If you don’t have the money right now and there’s no immediate income, how is stressing about it going to relieve your financial situation? It won’t.
The constant chatter about what’s missing in your life will also not change your current situation. The only thing increasing with this tactic is your cortisol levels, which negatively impacts your future health.
How to Stop Feeding the Ego
Anytime you feel tense, annoyed, jealous, out of control, angry, nervous, or overwhelmed and notice that inner voice starting to talk, you’re feeding the ego. To stop feeding the ego, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth five times, then think of ten things you are grateful for in your life.
Here’s an example of a quick gratitude list:
- “I am so happy and grateful…”
- To have a heartbeat.
- To breathe.
- To have a new day with new possibilities.
- To have a bed to sleep in.
- To have food in my kitchen.
- To have heat (or air conditioning).
- To have healthy kids (and/or pets).
- To have clean clothing.
- To have clean water to drink and shower/bathe with.
- To have a car that gets me from place to place.
Replace the Ego with Gratitude if you Want Happiness
I understand that not all things listed on this sample gratitude list may apply to you, but there are thousands of things to be grateful for—you can easily pick ten. The fact that you were born and all the bodily functions that occur daily without your input, inner voice, or approval is proof that miracles exist. You are a walking miracle.
If you want to be happy, start focusing on what’s going well in your life instead of what’s missing. You’ll notice that your life will change and the ego will diminish. If you change your thoughts from feeling a sense of lack to a sense of thankfulness, your life will change for the better. Call it the “law of attraction” or rewiring your brain for happiness, but when implemented, you can expect to feel uplifted and renewed which is how to live a happy life.
Don’t Rush the Process
You have had negative thoughts for as long as you can remember and you’ve lived in a mental state of wanting more than your current situation for years, so you can’t expect results to occur immediately. If you want to be happy, be patient. The ego has been running the show for a long time. It takes time to silence that ego-indulging chatter, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
You must watch every single thought—if you catch yourself thinking negatively, think of something you are grateful for instead.
Stop the negative thinking before it turns repetitive. Once you get into this habit, you’ll realize this is how to live a happy life and positivity will show up in your life in ways you never knew possible.
Steps to Develop a Positive Mindset if You Want Happiness
- Identify Negative Thoughts:
- Recognize when you’re feeding the ego with negative thoughts.
- Shift Focus to Gratitude:
- Make a habit of listing things you’re grateful for every time a negative thought arises.
- Practice Daily Affirmations:
- Use positive affirmations to reinforce a positive mindset.
- Stay Patient and Consistent:
- Understand that change takes time. Be patient and consistent with your new habits.
- Meditate Regularly:
- Meditation can help calm the mind and reduce the influence of the ego.
- Engage in Positive Activities:
- Dance, exercise, or engage in activities that elevate your mood and energy.
- Surround Yourself with Positivity:
- Spend time with positive people and environments that support your new mindset.
Conclusion: If You Want Happiness
If you want happiness, it starts with changing your mindset. Stop feeding the ego and replace negative thoughts with gratitude. Focus on the positives in your life and practice daily affirmations. Be patient with yourself and understand that change takes time. By following these steps, you’ll cultivate a positive mindset and discover how to live a happier life.
English