Overcoming toxic people is an important topic, but before we dive into the main content, it’s important to address a crucial point. If you are being sexually, physically, or emotionally abused, or being threatened in any way, please do not attempt to stay in the situation. There is help available (see resources below).
Immediate Help Resources for When Toxic People are Dangerous.
- If you are in immediate danger or don’t feel safe, call 911!
- Report to a mandatory reporter, such as teachers, social workers, healthcare workers, mental health professionals, or law enforcement.
- National Domestic Help Hotline: 800.799.SAFE (7233)
- National Child Abuse Hotline: Call or text 1.800.4.A.CHILD (1.800.422.4453)
- National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1 (888) 373-7888 or SMS: 233733 (Text “HELP” or “INFO”)
Now here’s the late introduction…
At some point in your life, you’re going to encounter a difficult person who makes you feel crazy, overwhelmed, distracted, invisible, anxious, depressed, resentful, angry, or a combination of these emotions. However, if everything and everyone were always peaches and rainbows, we would never have to deal with the bad, making it difficult to fully appreciate the good.
So how do we make toxic people a part of our growth? Keep reading to find the answers.
The Bigger the Obstacle (Toxic People), the Greater the Growth
Everything happens for a reason, and there are no coincidences, including the people and circumstances in our lives.
Difficult or toxic people can be physically, mentally, and spiritually draining. During these hard times, you’ll attract more negative people and circumstances since your thoughts release vibrations that attract more situations matching your current emotions.
On a positive note, the universe does not give you situations that you cannot overcome, no matter how bad you feel at the moment. Whether you’re dealing with childhood trauma, betrayal, a difficult coworker, or a selfish friend, know that others have shared your pain and have overcome similar situations.
The bigger the obstacle you overcome, the greater your growth.
Gratitude for the Toxic People…Yes, It is Hard.
Gratitude is a major part of growth. But how do you experience gratitude when dealing with a bully or intrusive memories of a past bully? As adults, we don’t always have the option of ignoring the bully. One way to feel gratitude is to look at toxic people in your life as life trainers who push you over the edge to overcome negative emotions.
When a toxic person ruins your day or intrudes on your thoughts, think about what benefits you’re getting. Try mentally thanking them for the opportunity to overcome anger or feel proud of yourself for remaining clear-minded without overwhelming emotions during that encounter.
Choosing Gratitude
Feeling gratitude for a toxic person does not mean you condone or accept bad behaviors. It means you are protecting yourself and your mental well-being by not playing into the toxic person’s game. By choosing gratitude, you bring more things to be grateful for into your life by the law of attraction.
Forgiveness for Toxic People
You realize your potential for spiritual growth based on the size of the obstacle you’re trying to overcome. Showing gratitude for people with toxic personalities benefits your overall journey in life. Forgiveness may be the most difficult step, but it’s always the most beneficial.
The Importance of Forgiveness
Dr. Wayne Dyer described forgiveness as the ultimate act of loving yourself. He said, “No one has ever died from a snake bite. They die from the venom which continues to pour through the system long after the bite took place. You can’t be unbitten, but you can choose not to have the venom flow through you. When you rid yourself of the venom and forgive, you are truly acting as a loving being.” Your inability to forgive only hurts you. Forgiveness is more than words; it’s not simply saying “I forgive” as words are meaningless without emotion and sincerity.
Once you choose to forgive someone, they can no longer cause strong negative emotions in your life. Instead, you’ll experience peace since this person no longer has control over your thoughts.
Self-Love Through Forgiveness
Remember, forgiveness is not for the benefit of the person who hurt you. Forgiveness is the ultimate self-love for yourself. By forgiving, you release the negative hold they have on your emotions and thoughts, allowing you to live a happier life.
Practical Steps for a Positive Mindset When Dealing with Toxic People
If you want to be happy, adopting a positive mindset is crucial. Here are some practical steps to help you maintain positivity in the face of adversity:
Monitor Your Internal Dialogue
Negative thoughts can quickly spiral out of control. By monitoring your internal self-talk, you can stop these thoughts before they multiply. If you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to reframe your thoughts into something positive.
Practice Gratitude Daily
Make it a habit to list things you are grateful for each day. Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right in your life, fostering a positive mindset.
Meditation and Deep Breathing
Meditation doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out process. Simply take a few minutes to sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Deep inhalations through the nose and slow exhalations through the mouth can help calm your mind and reduce stress.
Relive Happy Memories
Keep a mental list of your favorite “feel-good” memories. When negative thoughts arise, relive these happy experiences to shift your energy back to a positive state.
Find a Joyful Hobby
Engage in activities that bring you joy. Whether it’s dancing, gardening, painting, or making outfits for your pet, hobbies can provide a positive outlet for your emotions.
Conclusion
If you want to be happy, it’s essential to maintain a positive mindset. Difficult people and situations are inevitable, but how you respond to them is within your control. By practicing gratitude, forgiveness, and self-care, you can overcome negativity and live a happier, more fulfilling life.
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